I came to Denver one weekend in 1995 and I didn’t stop to see you. Probably because I was scared you would get mad at me for not being at school in Tucson or that you would not like the guys we were traveling with or that perhaps you would want to host a sit down dinner in your living room to celebrate your birthday since I was home. All I wanted to do was go to Boulder and party with my friends. As a mom now, I see what a jerk I was then. I should have wished you a proper happy birthday in person, especially when I was so close by.
You’ve been on my mind all day today and I’ve been looking for signs. My social algorithm is feeding me a lot lately. Out in the real world, I caught many repeating numbers and a call from my husby at 11:11. I believe in all these things and recently I remembered about angels too; that has a lot to do with you. Still the best cosmic treat was seeing the Northern Lights for the first time tonight. I didn’t know that’s what I was looking at, I just knew the sky never looked that pink and beautiful after dark. Later I was flooded with the knowledge online by a community of night gazers.
Lately, I’ve been looking through old photos and finding so many moments of you smiling and laughing, even when things weren’t going so well. It reminded me of something I don’t normally see when I’m looking back: joy. It made my heart light to think of us laughing together; to think of you having fun.
Happy Birthday! I hope beautiful colors are blazing through your universe tonight!
Northern Lights in Colorado tonight.