A Tree Ring in the Making

Aging gives you a sense of how the years have worn you down and unraveled your edges. It leaves you looking at what you are now and imagining what you used to be. It might even leave you feeling like a gust will win out and you will let go, floating and fumbling off into the distance, tumbling uncontrollably away from the place you had been secured to for so long.

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1111

Lately, I’ve been looking through old photos and finding so many moments of you smiling and laughing, even when things weren’t going so well. It reminded me of something I don’t normally see when I’m looking back: joy. It made my heart light to think of us laughing together; to think of you having fun.

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What Had Hold On Me

Today I saw a patch of wild dandelion blooms lightly lifting in a vortex carrying them up into the air and out into the field. There were hundreds of wishes getting taken away on the wind. Parts of these plants were carried so far from where they were, to find new spaces to spread out and thrive. They were launched and caught on a breeze all at once; somehow being entirely connected and yet entirely on their own journey.

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Ghosts

It’s as if I’m haunted by the past. The ghosts that are in my world aren’t even true versions of the people who have long since gone. They are eerily present yet wholey ethereal; they could be dispersed by a strong breeze or lost to a loud sound. 

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I Wish

Rather than facing the truth in my present moment, and understanding how that can help me evolve, I continue to visit the past thinking I can rub salve on a sore that is now a scar, hoping to heal it.

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