It is yet another mirage I try to set my sights on to to make this journey easier. I wish there was a way to release her. I wish there was a way she could release herself.
Read moreWeaving Words
I love writing so much: how a sentence can inspire me; how stringing words together feels like I’m weaving a blanket. Later I find myself wrapping up in the moment.
Read moreCapable
Don’t stay in the bubble of your busy mind.
Read moreSprung
Funny isn’t it, how some people control even time in this great game?
Read moreJungle of Thoughts
My mind runs wild through the jungle of memories and new stories I build about the past. It overtakes me.
Read moreVision
I fear I have no vision for how to traverse this wilderness but I have been caught in an eddy and must trust my instincts to survive in the flow.
Read moreBecoming Real
The story I told myself is that the way for me to be successful, make the most money, is to work for an organization, get benefits and impress leadership. I am a good employee and so they keep me complacent.
I have spent two years cocooning and trying to change the look of my life. I’ve dreamt about being a writer, making my money remotely, having a more fluid day, control over my schedule and true creativity. I thought the other day about how energizing it is for me to write. How I have felt an unseen presence coming through me. How I search for other writers out there. I am searching for myself. I’ve spent my whole life knowing this is my calling and then falling in line and doing the thing that needs to be done for stability.
My role as a mother intersects with all of this because I want to be available for my kids as much as possible. I also want to show them what staying true to your story is all about; what it looks like to respect your passion and hold space for it to come alive.
I’ve been so focused on work, the holidays and my mother, that I forgot how it feels to have this beautiful writing muse speaking through my pen strokes. This morning it came back; it has been months. I can’t control these words, they feel like they are coming through me rather than from me and I just let them roll. I struggle with all the words about my mother, and what to do with the content that I have written by now. It is so angry and not the energy I want to put out into this world. I keep asking myself how do I shape all of this into something worthy and beautiful for others to interact with? I keep wondering how will it become real?
I am also different. I’m drawn to things that stand outside the norm. I like counterculture. I crave not being like everyone else.
I have spent two years cocooning and trying to change the look of my life. I’ve dreamt about being a writer, making my money remotely, having a more fluid day, control over my schedule and true creativity. I thought the other day about how energizing it is for me to write. How I have felt an unseen presence coming through me. How I search for other writers out there. I am searching for myself. I’ve spent my whole life knowing this is my calling and then falling in line and doing the thing that needs to be done for stability.
My role as a mother intersects with all of this because I want to be available for my kids as much as possible. I also want to show them what staying true to your story is all about; what it looks like to respect your passion and hold space for it to come alive.
I’ve been so focused on work, the holidays and my mother, that I forgot how it feels to have this beautiful writing muse speaking through my pen strokes. This morning it came back; it has been months. I can’t control these words, they feel like they are coming through me rather than from me and I just let them roll. I struggle with all the words about my mother, and what to do with the content that I have written by now. It is so angry and not the energy I want to put out into this world. I keep asking myself how do I shape all of this into something worthy and beautiful for others to interact with? I keep wondering how will it become real?
Gumption
We honor how we have grown, celebrate our gifts and pass them along for a new generation, a new cycle to grow.
Read moreConversations with my Father
Grace Paley
I started the day wishing you Happy Birthday wherever you are - whether you’re Stardust or a being in a different ecosystem. Your memory is still so alive in all our hearts. But oh how I miss the sound of your voice and your laugh.
"Ask yourself one question: does this path have heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't it is of no use."
- Carlos Castenda
I’m not even sure I know how to truly sense the heart of some thing. My mind plays tricks on me and I project what I think are peoples intentions. I’m still working on trying to find my heart; to listen to its desires. I feel so lost, sometimes trying to let my heart lead. Perhaps just for today I will listen.