Today I saw a patch of wild dandelion blooms lightly lifting in a vortex carrying them them up into the air and out into the field. There were hundreds of wishes getting taken away on the wind. Parts of these plants were carried so far from where they began, to find new spaces to spread out and thrive. Millions of wishes launched and caught on a breeze all at once; somehow being entirely connected and yet entirely on their own journey.
Read moreGrit, Fiber and Pluck
I have yet to uncover that stone of worthiness that will make me feel most aligned. I still ache to believe in myself more and become this beautiful creative being I know exists. She’s always been there: my own private Stevie Nicks.
Read moreOddly Even
I’ve grown highly aware of all the versions of me that have existed like ripples through my lifetime. Not only the ones streaming farther away from me now as I grow older but also the ones left to come through me.
Read moreTen Thousand Words
Looking back now I see how grit can be turned to pearls, how seemingly bad moments can be blessings, how you can find hope in unsuspecting places.
Read moreFamily. Love. Money. Alignment. Connection.
I must believe and accept myself and acknowledge what I am good at.
I must embrace that I work hard and play hard, and I will always give more to a company than I get.
Showing up with an abundant, joyous demeanor is so important.
Not settling for less than I know I’m worth.
Sheer space and place isn’t always enough.
Appreciating what I have and striving for more - always.
Holding boundaries in a way that celebrates my space and doesn’t prioritize others.
Standing in my integrity.
Trusting my wisdom to led me to the next step.
Giving myself grace for my choices and mistakes.
Learning and growing from both.
Rebuilding.
Laughing as much as possible.
Morning
Waking up this morning, the sounds of early spring are so hopeful. I open the blind by the chair I sip coffee in and scare the duck that’s been hanging out searching for food. He’s been showing up lately without his partner. Since there are no squirrels to be found, I’m hoping he can eat. It is chilly and Martha is out in the coop so I give the chicken some corn too.
Now I’m sitting here trying to piece together my day and my life. I woke up feeling hopeless but the birds would not hear it. They called to each other from the trees. Their songs so light and so confident, not for one moment did they remain silent. The sprinklers hummed to life too and the traffic on a distant road. I joined the buzz. I went out into the morning and felt the cool air through my unbrushed hair. The coffee brewed, the dog stretched his bones and went back to bed.
I will carry on like this, hoping that somehow a lighter feeling will come soon and I will be free of the weight of this mess.
Alchemy
A seed does not self-pity the dirt, the darkness; it’s sprouts; it grows; compelling itself to change with direction unknown. It finds a way to its given value.
Read moreThe Hypothesis
I had it all but then I lost it.
Over and over.
Moments of clarity washed away fear and doubt.
Then, again, I stumbled in darkness.
My weaknesses only to be revealed and devoured by predators
too scared of their own imperfections.
But I am not a victim here.
I still have drive within me.
I do, I do, I promise myself I do.
Again and Again
After all this time, I can’t see what it is I want to write except that I want to write and I know that is my true way in this life.
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